If my business organisation was a football team…

Is it possible to relate everything to something that you are interested in? Let’s take a look at my attempt to create a team out of different business departments.

Gaffer: HR

The HR department gets the nod as gaffer. Deals with the ins and outs and has to decide which players are best suited to certain positions. Also deals with contract negotiations and release clauses. Has to manage conflict and deals with all departments of the organisation. Faces a tough job to keep everyone happy.

GK: Customer Service

Customer Service places between the sticks. A thankless role where they are rarely regarded as the hero and has to deal with shots from all sorts of angles from angry customers. Has to command their area with confidence and persistence and be alert to danger at all times.

CB: Finance

Has to lead by example. Responsible for defending and keeping out any big losses. Very important to communicate well with those around them in order to keep them on their side. Has to be effective in decision making in order for the team progress in the long-term.

CB: Security

A tough-tackling, no-nonsense centre half. Deals with a lot of challenges and shady characters, but makes sure everything is in check. Constantly monitoring the situation and acts as a safety net for the midfield. A Vinnie Jones type figure that you don’t want to mess with.

LB: Agencies

They come and go and it can be difficult to find a good one. Tend to come in the form of foreign imports, but regular changes are made. The position that nobody wants to play, so it gets outsourced at a cost. Keeps the gaffer quite busy.


Go about their business in a quite manner and their work can sometimes go under the radar. Always providing backup to the centre halves and has a large engine to keep going the full ninety. A Neal Horgan type of character whereby we know they are very talented, but we’ll never ask how they do it.

DM: Operations

Keeps the show on the road. Won’t get all the plaudits externally, but is the heartbeat of the team and will try to keep things as simple as possible. Everyone else’s favourite team member. Any forays further up the field usually result in ridicule, nosebleeds or a shot in Row Z. The gaffer’s first name on the teamsheet. Captain material.

CM: Production

A team member that has to be extremely accurate and consistent in their output. These people tend to be the ones with 95% passing accuracy. They will see a lot of the action which will push their energy levels to the limit. Most likely to be substituted in the form of shift work.


A multi-functional position and has licence to be more expansive due to the proximity of Production and Operations to keep things on track. An eye for a pass and a vision that sometimes pays off. However, if having an off day, can lead to very bad consequences and disrupt the harmony of the whole team. Most likely to fight the gaffer. Will want to take all the set pieces.

LW: Marketing

A position that requires a bit of flair and creativity. Speed and agility are key attributes. Will attempt to suck the defenders in and get past with a unique piece of skill. Can often end up over running the ball or falling over it. Can be involved in frequent spats with CF over what the best direction to take is. Tends to wear the fancy boots and be a bit of a luxury player that doesn’t track back.


Can take on 2/3 players at the same time when others don’t see it as being possible. Can lead to big wins in the long run! However, has to deal with a lot of failures also and patience in this position (and with this type of player) is needed. Imagination is needed and can come up with a lot of assists for the CF.

CF: Sales

A confidence player. Will grab the headlines for putting the ball in the back of the net, but will be shipped out if under performing. An extravagant type of character that misses the target on quite a few occasions, but rewards are large when they find the back of the net. Can score in a variety of ways, but as long as it goes in, the team are happy. A world class one can lead to major worldwide success.

Make up your 1-11 and see how it differs. Everyone will have their own impression of the stereotypes that are out there.

“Think, Create, Do”


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